Sunday, May 16, 2010

Mikee is An Asshole.

Okay so last night we went to a party...yes a party, at our friend's house on the other side of town. It was BYOB and we had a decimated 30 pack which we left at Andrew's house that we decided to take. I also found a bag of beer in my basement refrigerator which I decided to throw into our beer supply, half of which I loaded into my cargo shorts pockets so the bag wouldn't break on the walk. So Andrew, Monotone, and I arrive at this party, Andrew holding a 30 pack that's about to burst open, Monotone holding half of a warm 18 pack he found on his porch, and me holding a bag of beer, with about seven more beers in my pockets.

Then Monotone and I start playing beerpong and we win about eight strait was pretty cool. So now I'm drunk and I overhear these two girls talking about each other's pet dogs saying "He is so cute!" I intervene in the conversation and say something along the lines of, "stop talking about me!" Well from this point on, every time this girl saw me she said "hey cutie!" ...I guess that's pretty cool.

So the night goes on and Sprick almost gets into a fight prompting the kid's parents to come out and intervene; Sprick and the kid have been friends for a long time, so this was okay. It kinda pissed me off though, not sure why, so I was very mad at Sprick.

Well then the night wound down and it was time to make the frivolous walk home. Now by this point, Monotone had disappeared, we legit had no clue where he could have went, so we started to walk home anyway. The group walking is Andrew, myself, Long Arms, Bitter, Jegabombs, Sprick, and Pronk-Pronk is a tall, doofy Italian kid who has two older twin sisters, a dad who does not know any English, and a family, including him, whose combined IQ does not hit 100.

So while walking, I get the idea to call Britt, a old booty call of mine who, thanks to facebook, I know is recently single. I also know she has a minivan which would fit all of us, so I call her and ask for a ride...and she agrees!

So I make the announcement that we have a ride home, but then I turn to Sprick and tell him he can't come because he's an asshole. Sprick replies by saying

"What if I take off all my clothes and run up the block?"

Well, it wouldn't be a story if I didn't say yes. So now Sprick is butt naked running up a residential block at 3:30am yelling at the top of his lunges. Then Sprick decides it would be funny if he grabs Longarms and tosses him to the ground. Well needless to say, Longarms then grabs a still naked Sprick and tosses him face first onto the pavement, threatening to kick his ass right there. Now in this pavement toss, Sprick's clothes scatter, and I decide to grab his shoe and throw it about five houses down a side block...not sure why, I think just because I was an asshole.

So before any kind of fight happens, the owner of the house whose front lawn Sprick is lying on naked, comes out saying she has called the cops and all that shit. Now Pronk is escorting Longarms away so he doesn't actually kick Sprick's ass and the rest of us follow, leaving Bitter alone to deal with Sprick.

So we get to the end of the block where Britt pulls up in her minivan...obviously she did not expect to give all my friends rides home. And just as we're getting into the car, Andrew and Jegabombs hold up and say they're gonna wait for Bitter, so we leave without them.

So Britt drops Longarms and Pronk off and then insists that she has to go back for Andrew because he's my friend and she feels guilty. We find Andrew and Jegabombs still walking and pick them up, I ask what happened with Sprick and Bitter and Jegabombs replies

"They can't find one of his shoes."
So she drops them off and we go to a 24 hour deli to get food, which made me instantly shit like a fucking wildcat, and then we go to my basement where I refuse to turn off Sportscenter, so she merely passes out on my couch. No, I didn't get anything out of the booty call but I don't think she realized how drunk I was when she promised to pick me up...also, hey, there's always tonight!