Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Florida Part Three: "...How About Forty?"

So its Saturday and Joey has to work from 2pm till be honest, I was kinda expecting to take the night off of drinking. Babyface and I were watching the Inter Milan vs some German team soccer game and he told me there was a 4-mile path across the street from the complex that "hot girls" always go running on. Well, I brought a pair of running shoes, so I decided to go for a run.

Now this path was a circle that spanned past condo complex after condo complex and I was just staring at all these complexes as I ran. I remember one complex, after about a mile of running, was called "Bromuda" and I thought it was funny. So anyway, I keep running and I'm starting to wonder how much fucking longer this path could possibly be before getting back to Joey's place when suddenly, I pass Bromuda again. Turns out, I ran strait past Joey's place and had to turn around and go back...all in all, running about six miles.

Well after running six miles, I decided it was time to start drinking. After finishing our 18 pack, Babyface suggests we to go Hard Rock, which is an outdoor casino with multiple bar areas, like the place we were at last night. He was raving about a specific drink called a pile driver or what not.

Well we arrived and I followed him to a distant bar where he ordered two pile drivers and it was about this point that I realized pile drivers are daiquiris. Although its against all manlaw code, it was a daiquiri with a high alcohol content, so I was fine with it.

So here I am drinking a daiquiri with Babyface and we start to talk and I can safely say we wind up bonding. Now here is the thing about Babyface, he was on and off going out with this smoking hot girl from like 9th grade through last year that I used to kinda wanna bone but gave up as it seemed they were meant for each other. He confirmed that she is, in fact, a fucking psycho and then showed me his phone...she called him 17 times that night, which is actually her normal behavior, and he never answered...he lives in Florida now, she lives in New York, they are not together, why would he need to answer? So I instantly compare his ex to Cousin2 and well, it was the most we talked, I think, since like eighth grade.

He then proceeded to tell me a story about how he went to Atlantic City with his family and wound up banging a 45 year old cougar. He even had a picture of her, and she was pretty hot for a 45 year old.

So after bonding with Babyface, we head into the casino and find roulette machines to play on. I put about 40 bucks into one machine and I was maybe up to about 80 dollars when Babyface tells me that he keeps hitting number I usually bet on the outside but I figure, since I'm up money, I might as well go for it, and I put six dollars on 22, as well as 2 on black. ...Would you believe I fucking hit it? Suddenly I was up 540 dollars, so I gave Babyface his commission, of 40 bucks, and then we headed into another bar.

So we were sitting at this bar and, I guess I was really happy about winning 500 bucks, so then this girl came up beside me and started talking to me. Now she was like 30 years old, she was decent, and in my opinion, she looked kinda like Dino in about ten years, and my mind alerted no alarm as to why she would be interested in me.

So we were talking for like 20 minutes, I even bought her a drink, and at about this point, she leans into my ear and says

"300 bucks, and I'll do anything you want."

Now I'm thinking, No fucking way, she is a whore? ...Actually, I said that aloud, "No fucking way, you're a whore?"

She says "you got 300 or should I go talk to another guy?"

I tell her to go find someone else and I tell Babyface and we have a laugh.

So after a few more drinks, she is still just sitting like 3 stools away from us, and we decide its time to leave...but not before I get an idea. I walk back over to the girl and I say

"...How about forty?"

Needless to say, she then proceeded to obnoxiously laugh at me, and I think she even told the bartender who also laughed at me, so we just left. As we were leaving the casino, Babyface assured me that I most likely wouldn't have had somewhere to bring her anyway, seeing how I was sleeping on a vinyl couch in 86 degree weather.

Well we stopped back at the roulette machines again because Babyface insisted I bet on number 18 this time...I did...and won another fifty bucks. Awesome.

So while driving back at about 5am, Babyface is hammered and driving by the way, we stop at IHOP for breakfast and it hits me...I just won 550 bucks at Hard Rock, and then counter offered a prostitute's 300 dollar offer with a 40 of my own.

All in all, I think I need to bring Babyface with me from now on whenever I gamble.