Friday, May 7, 2010

Hn2's Mom is a MILF!/My Last Final

Well, seeing how I'm not a student, I didn't really have to take any finals, but I decided I would take my poly sci final anyway for shits and giggles.

So before the final, I'm trying to clean my room so I can vacate the apartment in favor of my house on Sunday. As I'm cleaning, with a lip in my mouth, incidentally going through the desk drawer where I keep my condoms, the door opens to reveal Hn2 and her I'm sitting there spitting black shit into a water bottle holding a box of Trojan Ultra Thins..."Oh hi Hn2's mom, I'm the guy who banged your daughter a few times this semester."

Now one thing strikes me about Hn2's mom right away...she is a fucking MILF! So I guess this partially motivates me to help the two of them pack up Hn2's room and take it to her car. Now this whole time I'm walking boxes of girl shit outside, I still have this lip in my mouth, and I am trying to spit in such a way that Hn2's mom does not see me...and I'm spitting everywhere, like the floor of the stairwell and her apartment floor. Anyway, I help them pack up the car and say goodbye but then I get offered a free dinner, which I think I was obligated to partake in.

I tell them I have to be back by 4 for my final and Hn2 goes "Shut up Mikee, you're not a student!" And then proceeds to tell her mom about my academic blunder. "Hi Hn2's mom, I do spitting tobacco, I keep condoms in my desk drawer, I spit on floors, I fuck your daughter, and I don't go to school here...oh and you're a MILF"

Anyway, we go out to dinner and I say goodbye to Hn2 and proceed to my Poly sci final. Now here is the thing about my Poly Sci class, it is a cast of characters and everyone has a nickname. Here is the whole class basically:

-Myself, Tall, and Georgia
-Dan, who is a friend of ours and the only other person we talk to
-Creepy Sub Guy-a 40-something ex high school sub going back for his education, has ridiculous right-wing comments on everything and a small platoon of female followers, somehow.
-Army Guy-Creepy Sub Guy's Bosley, wears Army fatigues every fucking day.
-Teacher's Pet-raises his hand for every question, the only kid who read the textbook.
-The Southern Duo-They sit by us in the back and do nothing but dip and make comments to each other.
-Blondie-a quiet, cute blond girl who would have probably been drafted into Creepy Sub Guy's army if we didn't sit between him and her.
-Creepy Sub Guy's Army of Women-every other girl in the class

So our teacher, who is about to be fired by the way, walks in and suggests we all come up with nicknames so we can see our grades online without others knowing who we are. He says, "don't pick something stupid like 'banana head.'" So the class laughs and it gets silent for a second, and I point to Blondie and say "you should be banana head!" Keep in mind, I've never said a word to her before, but this makes the whole class laugh at her, and she was kinda embarrassed. Do I feel bad? no, I thought it was kinda funny.

So anyway, we're about to start the final and, somehow, Creepy Sub Guy has a right-winged statement about illegal immigration pending to the scantron that makes his whole army laugh. But anyway, we start taking the test and, about half way through, I realize that my answers don't mean anything...helping me realize this is the fact that Teacher's Pet has raised his hand about seven times already asking a question about every question on the test. So I decide none of this is worth it, and I fill in C as my answer to every question. Also, the "nickname," I picked was my real name because, I mean, come on, I don't give a shit.

Anyway, Hn2 has left me but her MILF mom invited me over their house next weekend for a weekend of cockblocking and MILF watching I guess. I can't wait!