Sunday, August 29, 2010

Fall Semester...Already Awesome!

So I now live in the new house with three other people:

Tim-a 27 year old army vet, who is now pursuing his education
Beard-just turned 21, probably my closest friend on the team
Mack-Team captain, tall built ginger kid.

To give somewhat more background here, when Hn1 and I were really close, but after we had done all our fucking and whatnot, I was trying to set her up with guys on the team. I successfully set her up with Beard, but the two decided that they didn't like each other and nothing happened. She also tried to get with Tim, as Tim informed me, but he avoided this because he had a girlfriend. Tim asked me not to bring her by the house but I don't know if I can keep that promise.

Also, my bedroom door is broken...seriously, the door is strait up broken, so I told Bigirl who said she would come over and install a deadbolt for me, without me even asking. She is awesome.

Anyway I got my room set up otherwise, and went out applying for jobs so I could make money while not going to class. I walked into CVS to apply, and there were about 382 hot ass girls working there, so I'm pretty passionate about getting this job.

Anyway, Beard and Mack tell me about the rugby party that(last) night and we decide to roll through.

Tangent Time:

Thursday night, Beard and I went out to chillbar to meet up with Georgia and Tall. Here, we started talking to one of Georgia's friends who, upon seeing that I had a blackberry too, insisted on giving me her bbm. The one problem was, I had literally said three words to her before getting her number, and I think she only gave me her number because we both had the same type of phone. But anyway, Beard thinks I had some kind of awesome ass pick up line so he loves going out with me already. At the end of the night, however, the girl lost her phone so having her number was completely useless.

Anyway, we head over to rugby house1(we live in house2) for a little while as all these freshmen, who just moved in today, are getting drunk at their first ever college party. Then cops come and everyone who is not 21 leaves, including Mack who has another month to go, so Beard and I decide to go to the bars.

Now here is the one thing about Beard, when he gets drunk, he tends to kinda lose control of certain situations. I am kinda there now to keep him in line, being a somewhat responsible drunk and whatnot, and I'm okay with that because he is an awesome wingman and way better looking than I will ever be...its up to the girl, if she wants tall and handsome, go with Beard, but if she wants short, cute and funny, I'm right beside him.

So we walk into Chillbar and we head into the back where I spot one of Bff's old roommates at a table of girls. Now I define this entire table as being full of 65%'s, or girls that seem to only put 65% of their effort into appearance. As for Bff's former roommate, she is butt ugly, I feel...if I was to compare her looks to someone else, I'd say she resembled Juror number 2 in 12 Angry Men.

Anyway, I start talking to this one 65% who I can tell is probably a decent looking girl, and everyone else leaves the table except for Beard and the girl he's talking to, me and her, and this fat ugly cunt who is miserable about being by herself. Now, I was making fucking moves here, I'm dropping compliments that should have gotten me in! But this fat cunt has to exercise her power to cockblock and goes "No, we have to go NOW!" And takes our girls away from us. Bitch.

So Beard and I grab a booth and I see a girl on crutches walk past with one of her friends. Now I'm drunk, so I start a "Cripple!" chant, but then I buy her and her friend shots and its all cool.

Then Beard asks who I'm buying shots for and I say, while introducing them, they're for "Cripple," and "Cripple's cute friend." So now Cripple's cute friend(CCF), is kinda into me because I said she was cute and girls like that, and we start talking. We exchange numbers and what not, and while watching Beard talk with Cripple, who by the way, broke her ankle in Atlantic City somehow, his 65% from earlier returned and they went somewhere together. Then CCF goes:

"You're like the nicest guy here...Everyone saw my friend was on crutches and they ignored us, but you actually bought us shots. Why can't more guys be like you?"

...then we started making out. Then the bar closed and we said goodbye, and Beard lost sight of his 65%, said goodnight to the other girls, and we went to get pizza.

So in the pizza place, we wound up sitting with the girl's rugby team who, for the record, are some of the biggest cunts on the planet. Because of this, I avoided hanging out with them, so none of them really know me. So I'm sitting at this table, eating food scraps by the way, don't ask me why (there was a plate of leftover pizza from someone else i was just picking at), and these girls get into a fight with me because they think I'm lying when I say I'm on the team. One girl, this lesbian butch ass cunt, is yelling at me, from the next table, "Get out of my face!" I just reply by pointing out how we were seated at different tables.

So I urge Beard out of the pizza place before the fight gets physical, he was drunk and probably willing to do anything, and rugby girls will fight boys because they're butch cunts. Anyway, we head over to another house we heard there was a party at, and we walked inside to find that there was absolutely no one around. It was clear, however, that a party has just occurred seeing how all the shit was left was some Resident Evil looking shit in there. So Beard and I get ready to leave, but not before I decide to grab a painting off the wall and take it with us.

So now there is a new painting in our living room, CCF is texting me, and Bigirl is here installing a deadbolt into my bedroom door. Life is awesome.