Sunday, August 8, 2010


So I was originally planning to leave Pennsylvania on Saturday, but I was convinced by Georgia to stay another night. To give some background as to why Georgia and I have gotten this close, I think I've said before that she used to be married and it kinda creeps me out, well back in Georgia, her and her husband have "worked things out" where they are technically dating but seeing how they are each in different states, they are both free to fuck whoever they want. My intentions to get it in have really escalated our conversations.

Also aiding my desire to stay was Marcus. See, she was really cute, I thought, and we somehow got along pretty well. The problem was that, after getting ready for the night planning to maybe do something good with her, I learned that this was her last night in Pennsylvania before moving to Connecticut or some shit to start her post-college life. Now I know I'm not nearly tall enough for her but I'd hate myself for not trying.

So Georgia picked me up from my house and she insisted we drive down to Bethlehem for some intense, large ass music shit. She then proceeded to pick up Tall and Marcus and we started to drive to Bethlehem, drinking the whole way down. In the car, I disclose the comment I left to CWG and ask for advice on the apology, they all respond saying she deserved to be called a cunt because she was acting like a cunt...guess girls see things like this way differently.

So we arrive at this music thing, which is apparently a big deal because it strait up attracted like half of Pennsylvania. There are all these large ass parking lots with buses that take you to the festival, and we parked in one and waited for the bus. The crowd of people on the bus, I can only refer to as "Fedora City," since everyone seemed to be wearing fedoras.

So I took a seat next to Marcus and she began telling me about her life, as we drove past the abandon steel mill which was illuminated in all these different colors for some was actually pretty cool. Anyway she tells me about moving to some other state and we talk about our upbringings/ex's...Basically laying foundation for the pipe laying.

So anyway we arrived at the festival and I learned that Bff was actually there too, and I'm trying to give her directions to where we are so we can meet up. The problem is the festival is a never ending platoon of booths and stages and bridges and steel and shit, so no matter how we tried to decipher each other's locations, it was almost impossible.

So we went to this tent where this band was playing underneath and we took a seat, Marcus and I on one side and Tall and Georgia on the other.

Then Georgia got a phonecall from her husband/boyfriend and walked away to take it. In the mean time, this random ass girl just started dancing, like right in the middle of the aisle she started dancing nonstop. It was like she was on ecstasy, but I couldn't even compare it to that because she looked as white trash as possible, so I compare it to the Vietnamese girl in that chapter of "The Things They Carried" whose city was being destroyed by Tim O'Brien's platton but she was just dancing.

Anyway, Marcus thinks this is hilarious, and we're filming her with our phones. Then I look around and realize that she has attracted a crowd and everyone is filming her with their phones. Even a random old lady stops us and asks if we're filming her, thinking this is funny.

So anyway I gotta get up to take a piss and I walk to the porto-poties down the block. There about 84 poties set up in a row and there is a line of one person in front of each, so I jump behind someone and wait.

This fucker goes in to take a piss and literally takes like 20 minutes. So I turned around to whoever was behind me and said

"What did I get the guy shitting, or something?"

Well, unknown to me at the time, these were unisex poties and of course there is a 16 year old girl behind me on line who is not sure if she should laugh or be creeped out. Thankfully, the guy finished and I walked very fast inside to take my piss.

So on my way back I walked past another booth selling tickets and decided to buy ten more dollars worth so I could keep buying beer-you were only able to pay in tickets. So I went back to the bar, on my way to the tent, only to learn that it was 10:31 and the fucking bar closes at 10:30! So needless to say, I'm kinda pissed.

Then I return to the girls where Georgia is beyond upset. I ask what happened and Marcus tells me that she got into a fight with boyfriendhusband and whatever. Now keep in mind, it is very crowded, so we somehow have to split up into twos, Marcus and Tall, Georgia and me. I take Georgia over to a booth to try and spend my tickets and wind up having to purchase four smoothies, one for each of us!

So we find Tall and Marcus and they are talking to some guy they knew who was maybe 30. He starts telling a story about how a bouncer in one of the bars by us caught him fucking his girlfriend so he beat him over the head with a wine bottle, it was a great story and I felt pretty dim in roided motherfucker ever hit me with a bottle. So I was pretty entertained, and felt bad because I didn't bring him a smoothie.

So anyway soon we have to say goodbye to older story guy and we walked back to where the bus was supposed to pick us up. Georgia and I are walking like arm in arm and shit and I mention to Marcus that I still had tickets, and she says that she knows people who will be back and can spend them. I give her the tickets in exchange for her buying me a beer or two when we go to the bar.

Then Georgia tells me that she is in a bad mood and will not go to the bar. I assume I can have a bar night with the other two though, only to learn that now they don't wanna go either. I figured that by the time we got back, it would be like 1:30 anyway, so it wasn't necessary...even though it meant Marcus would not repay me for the tickets.

Anyway we get onto the bus and I let Georgia read what I have typed out as an apology to CWG but she tells me again that I shouldn't apologise. I planned on apologising anyway, naturally.

So we get back to the car and I get to sit shotgun with Marcus behind me, and me being an asshole, I kept pushing the seat back into her. Then I had to listen as Marcus and Tall discussed, in great detail, guys...and it reminded me why I disliked hanging out with only girls. I kinda wanted to turn around and say "Hey who wants to fuck me!?"

So Georgia drove them both to Marcus's house and then drove me home. On our way to my house some car blew a red light and slammed into the back of us, which of course just made Georgia even more pissed off. I thought it was kinda interesting, giving our night a No Country type ending.

Anyway, after trading insurance information, we get to my driveway and I go in for a hug goodbye only to receive a kiss instead. Well, it doesn't take a genius to say:

"Hey wanna see what the inside of my house looks like?"

But she says no and to call her tomorrow. I didn't.

Update with CWG: I just had a conversation with Andrew about the word cunt, seeing how he treats his girlfriend like shit and has probably called her a cunt multiple times. While I was right, he has called her a cunt multiple times, he assured me that cunt is a good word and, upon hearing what led to the comment, agreed with the girls and said that she WAS actually a cunt. I still sent her the letter of apology.