In all honesty, I cannot believe I just had the night I had.
So yesterday, Beard woke me up at like 10am so we can start drinking. Now, it was homecoming weekend and Tim and Mac were at the rugby game, but we stayed at the house to hang out.
At about 2pm, after a few beers, Bigirl came over to drink with us. Then at about 4, BFF, who was visiting for the night, came over to drink with us. Then at 8, Georgia joined us for some drinking as well. Then Beard passed out, Bff disappeared, and Bigirl, Georgia, and I walked to the bars.
So its Dino's birthday and I decided to text her:
Me: Happy birthday!
Dino: Thanks Mikee
Me: Np Dino (Yes I drunkenly called her Dino)
So we go to Chillbar but then I get a text from Shorty saying she's at Sportsbar, so I try to convince Bigirl to come to Sportsbar with me. While I was waiting for her, I spotted a girl that looked really familar, and it took me a moment to realize/remember this girl existed, but it was Dino's twin sister. The catch is, Dino's twin sister doesn't even know I exist, so I had to basically walk over to her and say, "Hey, you look like Dino..."
Well then Dino's twin sister pointed to Dino and said she was visiting too. So then I had to buy Dino a birthday shot...then I had to buy Dino's twin sister a birthday shot since twins share birthdays. Then Bigirl and I went to Sportsbar for a little.
So we walked into Sportsbar and the bouncer IDed us and walked away. This prompted me to stand at the door for a moment when a bunch of people walked up and handed me their licenses. So I started to charge them covers, but then my conscious set in and I told them I wasn't actually employed by the bar and I felt like a douche...thankfully they laughed and waited for the bouncer to return.
Then I walked around Sportsbar until I spotted Shorty. I lost Bigirl in this process, but caught up with Shorty, who was now passionately telling me:
"Wait, you fucked my friend Berries. I don't think I wanna talk to you anymore."
So I'm spewing out all these fucking lies, saying Berries and I never fucked...saying stuff like:
"The condon broke...I couldn't cum...she wasn't hot enough for me to finish."
Well none of that was enough to convince her to fuck me again, so I settled on making out with her and went back to Chillbar.
when I arrived, Georgia told me Bigirl had left and I eventually got bored. I went back to Sportsbar but not before saying goodbye to Dino...and as a goodbye, I asked her for a kiss...we made out briefly.
So then I was back in Sportsbar, and I feel like I was waiting for someone because I was just standing somewhere. Then a rediculously familar looking girl started to walk past............
CWG: Oh, hey Mikee!
No, I'm not lying and I cannot make this up...CWG(I can no longer call her cuntgirl after this night) is back and I am amazed.
Me: You hate me right?
CWG: No, I don't hate you
Me: how do you not hate me? ...I called you the worst word ever.
CWG: Okay, I hated you for like a week, but I don't anymore
(Now drunk Mikee sets in)
Me: Seriously, I was crazy about you and then I called you a cunt, and I'm pretty sure if a guy really likes a girl, hes not supposed to call her a cunt...(additional rediculous compliments)
I might have said something about her being an important character in my novel(CWG...in the novelized blog) and made her promise not to sue me for deffirmation of character.
Then I told her that I really liked her still...and could use a kiss. Then I made out with CWG again for the first time since like May. Then I texted basically everyone in my phone to say that I just made out with CWG.
Then I walked outside and ran into Bff and Jungle, who were going to CBOS. This had been the first time I saw Jungle in a while, and remember, this is DrunkMikee, so I went up to her, put my arm around her, and said:
"I always wanted to fuck a black girl."
Thankfully, she has a sense of humor and laughed at this. Then Shorty appeared and we were waiting on the long ass line to get into CBOS. Then I decided I didn't wanna go in anymore, so I left.
Now I don't remember if I was by myself or not, but I decided I was gonna go to Clubbar.
So some girl was wearing a tiarra reading "21," which, I guess, means it was her birthday so I decided to buy her a shot. While talking to her though, I saw another girl and decided to buy her a shot too. Neither girl knew the other existed though, so I was standing at the bar buying three cement mixers(for 21 and her friend) and 2 red deaths for me and other girl.
After our red deaths, other girl goes "Thanks....oh btw, I'm gay..." and walks away. So I decided I should walk away too, but not before telling 21 that I wanted a kiss.
Then I made out with 21.
Then I found that other girl and I told her I didn't believe she was gay. She tried to convince she was...by making out with me.
Then I saw Cripple and CCF who I had to buy shots for. Then CCF and I started to make out.
Then I started to walk home by myself. I was on the phone with Bff going, "WTF I am fucking ugly but I just made out with like 23 girl in one night....not to mention CWG...I do not deserve this!"
So looking back, it wasn't 23 girls...but rather six girls...and I still went home by myself. (I'm too lazy/tired to spellcheck/proof read this so fuck off)