Saturday, April 30, 2011


Its almost hard to believe that a year ago I was driving to the bars, pregamming in my car, and then just exploring the avenue with the end goal of fucking CWG...and finding satisfaction in many other girls along the way.

Anyway, here is a quick summary of my night last night:

So Ben is set to graduate for real this time and he was having a shin dig at his house to start the night off, however Beard was very inept on going out as well, and in case I haven't already said this, Ben does not like Beard as every time Beard has ever been at Ben's house, he winds up either breaking something or creating a socially awkward catastrophe. We were informed instead that some alumni were up at a local bar with Mac, so Beard and I went there to pregame instead. Here, amid all the barcrawls coming in and going out of this local bar, I ran into Cheeks on her I feel I need a tangent time for Cheeks:

Okay so remember when I fucked Tall and her roommates turned out to be Dino and Bathroomgirl, AKA, two other girls I plowed before her? Well Bathroomgirl and Dino both graduated last year and Tall needed two new roommates, so she invested in Cheeks and some girl named Ground, to inhabit her house with her. The first night I met Cheeks, I was hammered and we exchanged bbms and Drunkmikee sent her flirtatious texts for the duration of the night, depsite the fact that she had a boyfriend. Well she broke up with her boyfriend and since then has come to believe that Drunkmikee and Realmikee both have feelings for her so, yes, she wants to fuck me.
Ironically, to give some information on Ground, she fucked Beard when they were both freshman and, one night while drunk, I, too, hooked up with Ground. When I asked Beard why her nickname was "Ground," he told me it was "Because her ass hangs low to the ground."

But anyway, back to the story....So Cheeks is at the local bar and she invites me back to her house but I decline in hopes of at least seeing the main stretch of bars before boning anybody. Cheeks is also with her fellow barcrawlee, who Beard and I aptly nicknamed "Hammerhead," because she looks like a hammerhead shark. Now this is the cool part about local bars, at one point, someone convinced Hammerhead to let them do a body shot off of her and so everyone got to watch as this occurred. The fallout of this was, however, that Hammerhead would sit quietly for the rest of the time in a cloud of shame being anti social. I tried to strike up a conversation with Hammerhead but this was going nowhere and Beard and I decided to leave.

So we went to Sportsbar which was crazily packed and we saw Ground there, so Beard and I decided to have a long conversation about Ground's attributions. Then Drunkmikee had an opportunity to be alone with Ground and I decided to give her a report, rating all her attributions.

Saturday's post is epic.